It’s no secret that I’m an advocate for Diet as being one of the pillars for building a better lifestyle with ADHD. With extensive research having been done on everything on the food that we eat to the effect diet has on ADHD, we now know that the truth is out there.

We just need to follow it.

Over the past few years, what I eat has improved dramatically – and so has my life with ADHD. Unless my diet craters and I eat something unhealthy (like at a Wedding, watch out chocolate cake), the sensations of a cloudy brain or a being dumb have disappeared. And it isn’t hard to do.

With all the information on diets, must-do’s and how-to’s available, it can be difficult to know where to begin – and when you don’t know where to begin, you aren’t going to get started. So let’s cut through the noise and make it easy.

Below are four simple rules to follow. If you follow the simple rules for eating below for just 30 days, I guarantee that you will find your ADHD to be remarkably less present and less invasive in your day to day life.

That’s all it takes. Four rules and 30 days.

A SIMPLER APPROACH TO EATING

When in doubt, I say it’s time to simplify. Remove the unnecessary and unhelpful, enhancing the important as you go. And this is how we will be approaching your diet.

I won’t be involving myself with Diet Snobbery (my diet is better than yours, and so on), but rather with helping you identify the foods you should – and shouldn’t – be eating to turn you into an ADHDer: Level Awesome.

THE EAT RIGHT RULES

Rule One: Eat Natural, Normal and Unprocessed

It’s stunning that I have to outline this – not because of you, but because of how much unnatural, abnormal and processed food we have in society.

Your body is the product of thousands upon thousands of years of evolution. Most of the chemicals found in today’s foods are not.

Thus, think of it as a puzzle you need to put together – will this food fit in best with my naturally developed body, or do I need to find something a littler closer to nature? In most cases the food you hold in your hands and the food your body needs will not be two pieces of the same puzzle.

The added benefit of natural, normal and unprocessed foods is that you don’t lose the good stuff(1) before it gets on your plate. Avoid processed grains, genetically modified vegetables and “junk food” like the plague. It will not help.

Rule Two: Buy In The Supermarket But Choose Like It Didn’t Exist

If you want to obey rule one, the easiest way is to live by the maxim of ‘if you could spear it, you can eat it’. And the easiest way to do this is to pretend like your supermarket didn’t exist.

Let’s explore how:

• Eat fresh fruits, nuts and vegetables by only eating what is in season.(2)
• Get meat that’s fresh from the farm (ask your butcher) and uncaged, grain-fed animal products. Eating like a caveman doesn’t mean acting like one.
• Go for preservative free and avoid anything with ingredients you can’t easily decode.
• And finally, kill the candy. Although there are some rare exceptions to this (70%+ dark chocolate), 99% of what’s on offer is now off limits.

Need some motivation? Watch Robert Lustig’s Sugar: The Bitter Truth.

Rule Three: Water, And Lots Of It

Easy to overlook, but important to understand. On a statistical average, your body is approximately 57% water and this volume needs to be kept. Water is the elixir of life and you need to be drinking it, daily, by the glassful.

Before you go all Humphrey Bogart and insist that you’ll stick to Whisky and be fine, don’t. You aren’t Bogart, this isn’t The African Queen and your water won’t give you Dysentery. Drink the water and feel good.

Rule Four: If In Doubt, Don’t

Yes, you want to eat a wide variety of vegetables, fruits and meats. Yes, you want to enjoy the food you eat.

But if you’re not sure about that piece of bread you’re holding on your hand, avoid it like the plague. Don’t let it touch your lips until you know exactly what you’re putting into your body.

You wouldn’t use an unmarked fuel valve for your filling up your Porsche, would you? Of course not. You’d be sure what you were fueling up with before pouring it into a powerful machine. The same goes for the food you eat – make sure you know what’s in it.

When you follow these rules you’ll find yourself getting plenty of the good stuff (the aforementioned vitamins and nutrients) and less of the bad stuff (additives and chemicals).

1. The nutrients, minerals, vitamins, proteins etc that keep your body ticking the right way
2. Due to the size and scope of the world, it would be impractical for me to include a guide on this. Google [your country] seasonal [fruit/nut/ vegetables] for the answers.

Where Did This All Come From?

Have you ever wished that you could cut the reliance on drugs (some of which have no clear long term effects) for taking care of your ADHD? Do you want your ADHD to essentially go away?

The extract above is from The S.E.E.D. Approach To Drug Free ADHD, my upcoming book. To be kept in the loop when it gets released, and to get more information to help you go Drug Free with ADHD, subscribe to the blog by putting your details up the top right of this page.

“Just remember mate, go slow. You already know this stuff – they don’t. Give them a few moments to breathe and soak it all in before you hit them with the next big point. They need to know this stuff”

- Gerry, my mentor, before I took the stage at the NDCO Accessing The Future Conference

At the start of December this year, I delivered a keynote to an audience of a few hundred people entitled “720 Days Later”. In it I told the stories of two big achievements I’d had since last speaking at the conference, and the three principles that had underpinned them both. You can see the slides here.

With ADHD, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed or like you’re not really making progress. And the fact is, some times you really are overwhelmed and you aren’t actually making any progress. Tough but true.

If you really want to kick the ADHD habits that are holding you back next year, and start achieving that awesome potential that you know you have, you need to lay a framework and understand these principles in advance. It won’t necessarily be easy, and that’s why we’re preparing now.

As the old saying goes – if you want peace, prepare for war.

Focus On The Foundations

“One does not accumulate but eliminate. It is not daily increase but daily decrease. The height of cultivation always run to simplicity”

- Bruce Lee

Over 2009 – 2010, I travelled through Europe in the dead of winter. To make things more interesting, where most of my friends had done similar with two suitcases and a backpack, I did it with just 6.9kg of carry on luggage.

The result? The best trip I’ve ever had, and a new appreciation for the basics.

So how do you downsize from a 21kg portable wardrobe to under one third the weight? By focusing on the foundations that matter. The same rules apply in life too – if you’re feeling stressed or overloaded, you need to simplify.

You see, when you allow yourself to be torn in every direction by your various desires, abilities and wants, whether in packing your backpack for Europe or heading out to party, you face an inevitability. If you try to do it all, you will crash. The best way to overcome this is to simplify your life, remove the exotic and focus on the foundations with everything you’re doing.

So how do you do this? By starting with a surprisingly simple economic rule of thumb called the Pareto Principle.

Created by Vilfredo Pareto in the early 1900s, the Pareto Principle tells a simple truth of life – that the 80% of your results come from 20% of the results. Sure, there are permutations of this (95/5, 99/1, etc), but for the most part 80/20 is a valid rule of thumb to follow. The key is to identify the 20% that matters, and work to emphasise it whilst removing the 80% that delivers little to no value.

Focusing on the simple bits that matter isn’t an uncommon approach by any means. The Billionaire Charlie Munger, author of Poor Charlie’s Almanack and business partner to Warren Buffet, has a checklist of investing principles that includes this gem: “Keep things simple and remember what you set out to do.”

Remember, Focus On The Foundations.

Definition And Detail Matter

I once threw a whiteboard marker at my Managing Director’s head. Two days later I was offered a promotion into a new position. Why? Because I was paying attention to the details and definitions of a project that had gone AWOL and using them to get back on track.

The thing about life is that while it’s a shared experience, every piece of meaning we apply to it is personal. And meaning starts with definition. Why does late mean 10 minutes after the time to you, and a second after the time to someone else? What makes your honesty rude to someone else? What makes one piece of work higher or lower quality?

The definitions being applied!

When you find yourself in situations where you clash heads with someone on seemingly common terms, when you’re struggling to figure out what you need to do or even just get it done, it’s time to redefine.

As you define the world around you, not only will you feel more in control, but you’ll also gain a better understanding of the challenges you face.

Action Is The Best Teacher

No matter how much you think you know, you know nothing until you’ve tried it.

All the books in the world, all the conversations on the planet… none of these can ever teach you something the same way that taking action will.

As we grew from a team of two creatives to a team of nine people in mixed roles, a range of project and team management tools were researched and tested. And most of them failed. By taking each of the apparently awesome tools and stress testing them in the real world we were able to learn what really worked.

Likewise, when I was in my late teens/early 20s I was terrible with girls. I was a self friend-zoner and had no idea how to pursue a stranger without a strong dose of luck, and had mainly fallen into my previous relationships thanks to the efforts of the girls. After turning to the internet and books to learn more about social dynamics, human behaviour, body language and more, one thing rapidly became clear.

Reading a book won’t pick up a girl. Trying what you read might. Taking action will show you what will.

A Final Word

When you’re struggling with your ADHD, it can be difficult to understand what’s holding you back.

You feel overwhelmed, like you aren’t living up to your potential and like you aren’t normal. You know that you can be better – but you just don’t know how to get there! The truth is, these feelings and thoughts running through your brain are triggers that you aren’t living in line with these simple concepts. As you notice yourself start to feel this way, take a step back and review the three principles.

Focus On The Foundations

Definition and Detail Matter

Action Is The Best Teacher

(Apologies for the loud voice – this is my first recorded call and I had no idea I was this loud)

When it comes to ADHD, I’m a strong beleiver in overcoming the symptoms by taking care of the basics first. This means addressing Diet, Exercise, Mindset and Self-Awareness before moving towards other solutions.

I believe in this because there’s no point in supplementing with something that you don’t know the long term effects of (medication) when there’s a natural, proven short term solution. The thing is, though, that some of the steps you need to take towards overcoming ADHD symptoms and building an ADHD lifestyle that works for you can feel difficult. Impossible even.

Enter Steve Kamb.

Recently I had a chat with Steve Kamb of Nerd Fitness about why the impossible is possible, and how you can easily start making exercise a part of your ADHD lifestyle. The guy is switched on and knows what he’s talking about..

Steve runs a successful business called Nerd Fitness. In the past three years, he’s grown his supportive community (affectionately known as The Rebellion) to over 10,000 email subscribers and a forum with around 100,000 posts at the time of writing.

People listen to Steve – and for good reason.

Steve has a way of making even the most daunting tasks seem possible (like gambling a night away in Monte Carlo on a tight budget, or travelling the world for just $400 on plane fare).

His blog posts and products have helped people around the world to lose weight, build muscle, get fit and genuinely improve their lives. But more than anything else he’s a down to earth and easy to hang out with guy. I know this first hand from the first time we met . Steve was on his Epic Quest, where I twisted his arm to come out and party with strangers.

Steve’s provided a veritable goldmine of advice in this interview, so make sure you take notes.

Resources From The Video

In the video, Steve and I spoke about a few things. Here’s the ones that matter most – click on the links for more information.

Steve’s Rebel Fitness Guide
Nerd Fitness
Drive by Daniel Pink
Glenn Allsop on ViperChill
Tyler Tervooren at Advanced Riskology

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One Last Thing

I’ll be speaking at the NDCO Accessing The Future Conference this week. I’m giving a more practical presentation on Bulletproof Learning, and a keynote called 720 Days Later: Taking ADHD Into The World and The Workplace.

You’re welcome to come and say hi if you’re there and you spot me.

Sleep and ADHD have a delicate relationship. 

When you’re trying to get some extra shut eye, there are a whole range of factors at play. There’s the levels of melatonin in your body, the chemicals you’ve recently imbibed (like caffeine, ginseng, kava and other stimulants/depressants), your environment, mind state and stress and anxiety levels. Getting all of these factors to play nicely together can make it difficult to sleep when you have ADHD.

At the time of being diagnosed with ADHD my sleep patterns were all over the place. I was lucky to get in four solid hours per night (sometimes it was self inflicted), rarely slept right through and woke up feeling like I was running on fumes.

Over the last few years, I’ve learned a lot of things. A lot of this was from when I proudly survived on minimal sleep (although in many ways, I hated it), and as I’ve improved my sleeping habits they’ve served me well.

Understanding The Basics Of Sleep

Let’s make sleep simple by breaking it down into something we can manage. For all intensive purposes, we will approach Sleep as being made up of four basic factors:

1. The quality of your sleep (how good it is)
2. The quantity of your sleep (how many hours you sleep)
3. How quickly you fall asleep
4. How quickly you wake up

Each of these factors has a compounding effect on the others, either improving or weaking them. This means that if you’re getting great sleep, but not getting it very often, you’re likely to be affecting how quickly you fall asleep and wake up.

By addressing each of these factors individually you can tweak and optimise your sleep related habits. In turn, you get better quality sleep – and more of it.

Before we go any further, one more thing on sleep foundations. Your sleep will always be affected by your day to day life. If you eat a bad ADHD Diet, and exercise isn’t high on your priorities, you’ll find it tougher to get positive results. Make sure you take care of the ADHD basics, and the rest can take care of itself.

How To Improve Your Sleep – Tonight

Before you can start worrying about the quality or quantity of sleep that you’re getting, you need to ensure that you’re actually falling asleep. Trying to sleep with ADHD can feel like a bit like being trapped in a prison – you’re lying there, trying to sleep… but you just can’t.

This sucks. Luckily, you don’t have to do this anymore.

I now have two steps that I take every night before falling asleep that ensure I’ll pass out not long after my head hits the pillow. Neither involves exhausting myself (it used to) or any kind of wierd drug, and both can be done anywhere.

Step One: The Unplug

Unplugging is important for ADHDers. It gives us the opportunity to wind down and have our brain relax before we hop into bed – an imperative for getting decent sleep.

Unplugging in this sense means getting off the computer, turning off the TV and stopping playing with devices that are backlight. These stimulate your brain, making it difficult for it relax. So what do we do instead?

First, we ensure that we will unplug. I work backwards, counting ultradian rythyms, from the time that I’m going to be getting up to calculate the time I need to be in bed (more on that in another post). Then, I allocate an extra 30 minutes of “wind down” time. This is time when the screens are off and the relaxation begins.

In this 30 minute window, I’ll do one (or more!) of of the following activities. I find that by pre-planning what I’ll do to fill in this time, I reduce the chances of getting distracted and “just checking” facebook or any other screen related activities – and thus ruining my unplug. Just like in a zombie invasion, preparation is key.

• Read (fiction only). Fiction lets you unwind and imagine the story, much like a dream. Non-Fiction will keep you awake and thinking. I’ll use a Kindle for this.
• Stretch. Part of my ADHD and Exercise routine is Krav Maga and Muay Thai, and as a result I’ve always got a muscle worth stretching. I find by taking 10 – 15 minutes and stretching out my body, I’m more relaxed when I get into bed.
• Stream Of Conscious Writing. This is a simple activity, but really helps unwind your brain. Put a pen on a piece of A4 Paper, and dump your thoughts. If halfway through a sentence you find you’ve changed thoughts, change your sentence – there are no rules of grammar here! Keep going until you reach empty.
• Gratitude Journal. There’s nothing worse than being stressed, so at the end of the day I’ll take a few minutes and write down the things I’m grateful for. It keeps my life in perspective, even when the chips are down.
• Daily Review. I’m a big advocate of the daily review. It helps me see what I’ve accomplished, wins I’ve had, lessons I’ve learned and how I can improve. Doing this every day helps keep to keep focus on goals and self awareness.

Once you’ve had your wind down window, it’s time to get under the covers.

Step Two: Getting Under The Covers

I won’t make this long, nor will I make it difficult. Getting to sleep is probably the biggest challenge for individuals with ADHD, but by having unplugged for at least 30 minutes before hand we give ourselves a solid foundation to start with.

I often found it hard to establish a thought pattern before falling asleep, and tried all manner of things. Counting sheep, focusing on breathing – you name it I did it. But I’ve now settled into a powerful way of falling asleep each night.

This technique is called the List Technique, and I learned about it from Daniel Ternes, author of one of the most comprehensive guides to sleep that I’ve ever seen, Sleep Hack Dojo. It’s a deceptively simple technique that he expands on (amongst other things) in Sleep Hack Dojo, and everyone I’ve shared it with gets the same results.

It works as follows.

1. Select a topic that you’ll be listing from. It could be animals, bands, movies or so on.
2. Go through the Alphabet and name one thing from that topic for each letter. For example if you were using animals, your mind would think “A…. Aardvark, B is for Bat, C… is for Cat, D for.. um… Dolphin” and so on. You get the idea.
3. Doze off before you get to the letter M. If, by some chance, you do get all the way through the cycle, pick a new topic and start again.

Why is this technique so valuable, and why does it work? Let me explain.

First of all, this is a form of repetative and focused meditation. You’re repeating a simple activity that requires little brain power, and at the same time slowing down your brain.

Secondly, although the first 5 – 10 letters will be quite easy, your brain starts to unwind pretty fast and you’ll find yourself falling asleep in no time.

Building Your Own On Ramp

These are the techniques that have worked from me, and I’ve pulled them from a variety of resources. Admittedly, I haven’t touched on other techniques such as ice baths or melatonin supplements, nor have I discussed the importance of lightblocking and exercise for sleep. These are “more advanced” sleep hacks, which I’ll write about later.

Now the question is, what works for you? What is your current on ramp for your ADHD Sleep, and how can you improve it?

See you in dream land.

- Note: If any of you ever get past the letter M with the list technique, let me know. I’ll be truly impressed. Rob.

“In my mind, she cheated because I wasn’t good enough. I remember making the decision that I will never not be good enough again”

- Will Smith, self-diagnosed ADHD, to Time Magazine

When asked about coping with ADHD, a common challenge most adults with ADHD will mention is dealing with low confidence.

When you have ADHD, low confidence becomes an insidious mental mind-game that we play on ourselves, and it can seep into all the various parts of your life. Your job can be threatened, your relationships can crumble and your total sense of well being is at risk.

How do I know this? Let me put on my ‘Been There, Done That’ hat and explain.

Why Having Low Confidence Becomes A Choice

Over my life, I’ve taken a few tangible hits to my confidence.

From my first love cheating on me after two years to slipping (quite literally) from first to last in different classes, I’ve worn their effects. Throw into the mix the niggling sense of a lack of self-worth, difficulties on tests and the day to day self-doubts and you’ve got a story that just about all ADHDers can relate to - one where the vaccuum of confidence plays far too great a role.

Personally, I decided I didn’t like this.

I didn’t want to be someone categorised by a lack of confidence in all the areas of my life, and I went on a rampage to do all that I could to overcome this. Over time, I developed a technique which I’ve used time and time again to get me on track and building my confidence. And it works every single time.

It’s helped me improve my abilities in martial arts, dealing with the opposite sex, business, public speaking and driving. In fact, it has been behind some of the biggest accomplishments in my life to date.

Here is where you make the choice.

Will you continue struggling along with low self confidence, and just accept it? Or will you do what it takes to improve your self confidence and your sense of well being? I hope you’re going for the latter.

Assuming you’re still here, you’ve decided to improve your confidence. Awesome! However, before we get into the how, you need to first understand why you lack confidence.

Why You Lack Confidence: Understanding The Basics

Before you know why you lack confidence, you need to know what it is.

Let’s start by defining confidence anew as “the feeling or belief that you can rely on yourself to get things done” and work backwards to build your confidence. With this definition in place, we can start to look at what builds confidence – and then we can then work towards making it a reality through a few simple exercises.

With confidence being the feeling or belief that you can rely on yourself to get things done, my experience has taught me that there are three elements at play that you need to address. They are:

- Feelings And Belief.
- Yourself.
- Get Things Done.

Accepting this as our frame work, let’s examine further.

Your Feelings And Beliefs

This is the way that you see yourself in your minds eye, based on the stories you tell to yourself about things that you’ve done in the past.

Feelings and beliefs are your frame of reference for the world, and in all cases they are based on either personal past experiences you’ve had or the things that you have been told. They exist in religion, day to day work and even when picking up a book – in each situation you believe something about what you’re about to do, and what the outcomes will be.

Understanding this is imperative.

By recognising that our feelings and beliefs are based on personal experiences and the things we’ve learned, we recognise that a new option exists. Instead of being tied to the past, you can work to create a new frame of reference for your beliefs instead of trying to overcome the old ones, and as a result you can create a more confident way of being in the world.

You At The Centre Of The Universe

Surprise! You are the centre of this situation.

What I mean by this, however, is not the collection of flesh, bones and arteries that make up your physical existance. No, I am referring to you as a vehicle for improving your feelings and beliefs and getting things done.

To build better confidence, and to improve your feelings and beliefs about yourself while getting things done, you need to put yourself in the right place and give yourself the right fuel to encourage this to happen.

To help yourself build confidence, there’s one major thing you want to do. Assess who you are surrounding yourself with. A rule of thumb I’ve lived by since I was introduced to it is that I am the average of the 5 people with whom I spend the most time.

If I spend most of my time with driven people, I end up being more driven than ever Driven-Rob. If I spend most of my time with negative nancy pants, I become Nega-Rob. I spend most of my time with people who are fitness freaks… well, you get the picture.

Your environment is vital to your success – more so than the will power you try to exert over yourself. What does this mean?

It’s easier to lose weight by taking the junk food out of the house instead of just ‘not eating it’.

Take a look at yourself and your environment now, in particular the people you spend the most time with, and ensure that you’re giving yourself the best chance possible to build your confidence.

Getting Things Done: The Art Of Getting Results

With ADHD, we “suffer” from procrastination.

After seeing other human beings do things, I look at this as being one of two things:

• An excuse to avoid the big challenges in life, which are best addressed by action. This is a habit that is formed through conscious practice – if you are expending energy on one activity, it can be better expended on something that needs to be done.
• The result of not practicing the take action technique enough to engrain it as a habit. This habit takes self coaching, practice and time to develop, as well as to build the Myellin in your brain necessary to make it a habit – but it pays off.

Procrastination in any form won’t get you results you can work with (that’s right – failure is still a result worth getting!), and will stop you from doing anything. As such, it’s better to take action and fail than it is to sit on the couch and do nothing.

By failing or succeeding, you establish direction and options.

But more importantly, you give yourself a new way to build frames of reference.

Introducing The Three Exercises You Need To Do To Build Your Confidence

I use these exercises on a regular basis to stop myself from doing two things; building false confidence in myself, and keeping things in perspective.

Each of the three elements of confidence outlined above are addressed by the exercises below. If you follow through on them you’ll help yourself to create new frames of reference, improve your chances of success and get things done.

Without further adieu, let’s begin.

PRE-GAME: PICK ONE AND PREPARE

Before you start going through these exercises and taking actions, you need to pick one situation where you’d like more confidence. This could be anything from dealing with the opposite sex to a sport – it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you pick just one.

Once you’ve picked one, analyse your position in the world to it – this alone might be what is making you have negative beliefs. Remember, take care of the environment first.

Now as you work through this, I’ll giving you an example by running with an area where I was an absolute confidence black hole for some time – dealing with women.

EXERCISE ONE: EXAMINE YOUR BELIEFS

Take five minutes to think through as many memories as possible. As you do this, notice all of the individual thoughts you’re having about each memory. This could include things like “I said the wrong thing” or “I suck at this game” – whatever thoughts and beliefs that you have pop up, write them down.

For me, this included things like “I can’t just approach a stranger”, “I’m not good looking enough” and “I’ve never had any success doing this”.

Once you’ve written down your beliefs, go through and put a star beside each of the negative ones – the ones telling you that you can’t do something.

And now comes the fun part.

You are now going to go through your starred list, and pull it apart by challenging it with nothing but logic. Leave your emotions at the door and follow these steps.

1. Note whether the belief you’ve written down refers to ability, history or an unproven assumption. Follow your gut and organise them.
2. Go through these beliefs anad deal with them as follows. For those dealing with ability, write down three ways you can improve. For those dealing with history, write down three situations you’ve been in that demonstrate the opposite. For those that are an unproven assumption, write down three ways to test if it is correct.
3. Go through everything you’ve written down. For any belief that now seems ridiculous, unrealistic or impermanent as a result of step two, cross it off your list.

You’ll need what’s left for Exercise Two.

EXERCISE TWO: ENTER THE REAL WORLD

So far you’ve selected an area of life you’d like more confidence in and checked out the negative beliefs you hold on it. Then, you went through and narrowed it down to two kinds of beliefs:

• Those that need to be tested
• Those that need you to take action to improve

Now, if my belief was “I can’t approach complete strangers”, I would need to test it. I would do this by definining what an “approach” and “complete stranger” was, before going out and talking to ten different women to give it a crash course in real world data.

With these ten approaches done, I would be able to identify whether I could a) actually approach women and b) approach women succesfully. With this information gathered, I could go on to identify what it is from making me successful – or whether my beliefs weren’t justifiable!

When analysing the information you gather from testing your assumptions and beliefs, it’s important that you keep it as realistic as possible. As per my example, if I’m finding that I can’t approach, defined as begin a conversation with, a complete stranger, defined as an attractive woman I’ve never met before, the next step is to address the problem head on by seeking further help.

In this situation, my action steps would be:

1. Come up with 5-10 conversation topics to start – and continue – a conversation with.
2. Create a reason to talk to an attractive woman. All I need is for her to engage with me, anything else is gravy.

For any anxiety I would (understandably) have about this, I’d remind myself of a phrase that’s been successful for me in the past.

“What happens if I do this?”

Reality is a fantastic litmus test for beliefs, and a great coach for improving confidence.

EXERCISE THREE: REBUILD THE BELIEFS

Congratulations my friend, you’re almost a certified belief breaker!

You’ve successfully achieved a lot already as you’ve worked through this. Just look at what you’ve done and what element of confidence it applies to:

• You’ve chosen an area you want to improve your confidence. (Yourself)
• You’ve analysed whether environment is what is holding you back. (Yourself)
• Your beliefs have been identified, analysed and tested (Feelings and Beliefs, Yourself, Getting Things Done)
• You have used action to get things done and see further steps that you can take (Feelings and Beliefs, Yourself, Getting Things Done).

The final step I take in this process is rebuilding my beliefs. Through this process you’ve taken the necessary steps to create data and emotions tied to real life experiences. This data and emotions have become the truthful foundation of the beliefs that you will hold in the future.

To complete this process, you need to do just two things:

1. Read through the information and data you’ve gathered from the first two steps.
2. Use this information to create a dynamic belief. For me this could be “I can get better at talking to women by practicing and preparing in advance”.

That’s it. This isn’t rocket science.

By putting your beliefs to the test – whether it be about your ADHD or any other area of your life – you ground them in reality. But even more importantly, you see that they can be challenged and changed.

Alright, enough from me. What beliefs are you going to challenge today?

Do androids dream of electric sheep? Sometimes there's such thing as too much technology in your life. Photo by thevlue

For the past 20 years, I’ve been a heavy hitter when it comes to technology. 

From my humble beginnings in MS-Dos playing Word Rescue and Commander Keen (nerd Rob got balanced out by nerdier Rob) to later days with Alex The Kid on the Master System, and my uses of technology to overcome my ADHD, one thing is clear.

I am an ADHD Technology Addict.

Although I try to keep my lifestyle as minimalist as possible, I have struggled to bring the same ideals over to my digital life. At my worst, I am a digital pack-rat. At my best, I’m a cyborg from the future set on optimising every element of my life.

I run a review site for Assitive and Special Education Technology, which gives me good reason to search for new and interesting ways of applying technology. It also puts me neck deep in that world.

Now even though the benefits of being neck deep in usable technology and applied solutions are many – and they’ve really helped me to overcome my ADHD – it runs a risk of corrupting you. As a result, I’ve made my fair share of mistakes.

Here’s just a few…

CONFESSION ONE: I have forgone friends, family and lovers to recover my data.

To be honest this has happened more than once. However, what follows was the most offensive at all. Read on.

In 2009, the night before I went on a three month trip overseas, my HP Laptop crashed and I lost more gigabytes of data than I’ve since regained. That wasn’t the worst part though.

Instead of just accepting the fact that I wasn’t taking my computer with me, and that nothing would change with it while I was away, I decided to “fix it”.

By “fix it”, I mean stare at the blue screen of death for nearly eight hours as it slowly ticked up a basic backup and recovery. To spend this thrilling eight ours in front of the computer, I neglected catching up with family and friends whom I wouldn’t see for the next three months.

Lesson learned: I’ve since bought a Macbook Pro which rarely crashes, begun backing up the most important files in the cloud and not poking the technology bear before going on trips away.

CONFESSION TWO: My Total Facebook Visits Number Well Into The 4 Figures.

Although I advocate website blocking through extensions like Leechblock and Website Blocker, it isn’t because of some higher purpose. It’s because if I don’t, I get stuck in the Rat Loop with Facebook.

The Rat Loop is a simple concept. A behavioural psychologist, B.F. Skinner, trained rats to take particular actions in order to get a food reward. Over time the rat becomes conditioned to take these particular actions, believeing food will follow.

The Rat Loop with Facebook is similar – you check Facebook hoping for a notification on something you’ve posted earlier. Each time you check Facebook and there’s a new notification, it enforces the belief that everytime you check Facebook there will be a new notification that you should check. Logically, you know this isn’t true, but you continue to do it.

Finally, the notifications stop but you keep checking.

You’re stuck in a Rat Loop, looking for the next hit of dopamine as you get new notifications… but they’ve already dried up.

The Rat Loop has lead me to well and truly clear the thousand visits mark when it comes to Facebook (simple maths – you could visit Facebook three times per day for less than a year and achieve this result), and as a result I’ve set up blockers to stop it from growing at the same rate.

So far, so good. [Ed - I only checked it once while writing this article, and that was to double check how ashamedly high my visit count was.]

Lesson Learned: I now try to do two things when I use a computer. First, I block the time wasters when I need to get things done. Second, I always write down what I need to do on the computer before I start (see Confession Six). It helps.

CONFESSION THREE: More Than Half The Songs In My iTunes Have A Total Of 0 Plays

I love music. It gets used for studying, sleeping, training, mood setting and more on a daily basis because I find that it improves everything 10 fold at the very least.

But I still have over half a library of songs with 0 listens in my iTunes. Hello, Digital Packrat.

Now although some of these songs are from when I was younger and my taste has moved in a new direction (whattup Timbaland! We had some good times, but I’m done), some have just never been touched. Ever.

But I struggle to relegate them to the trashbin of my Mac by using the digital justification of “but what if I need them? It’s not like they take up any extra physical space!”

Honestly, who can even listen to 43 days of music straight.

Lesson Learned: It’s easier to justify keeping the invisible than the visible. Although this has a minimal effect on my digital life at the moment, it has been marked ‘First To Go’ should the quest for more space arrive.

CONFESSION FOUR: I Am Eternally Connected

Currently I own a Samsung Galaxy S II, and I love it. It has my Calendar (aka my Frontal Lobe), Email, Evernote, DropBox and everything I could ever need. And they all work offline.

Joy of joys! According to this, I can disconnect whenever I want and still get things done.

But I don’t.

My phone comes with me everywhere (create your own justification here) and runs the risk of distracting me on a regular basis at it sits on the table beside me. With the world at your fingertips, it’s become harder and harder to resist it. However, ever since it’s been proven Google can have a negative effect on your memory there’s a reason to become at least a part-time member of the resistance.

Lesson Learned: There must be an off time. Instead of turning my phone off between particular hours, as recommended by just about every productivity guru under the sun, I now shoot for about 6 hours on one day per week at a minimum.

CONFESSION FIVE: Every time I Install An Internet Connection, I Think It’s The Best Day Ever

Ever lived without Internet to your computer?

Perhaps you’ve survived by creatively borrowing someone elses in a nearby apartment or building, or maybe you’ve run the risk of blowing out your phone bill with tethering. To check your email, Facebook and maybe get a little work done.

If you haven’t, you’re a hero and I praise you for it.

In the past six months, I’ve installed Internet in two seperate apartments. After being without the internet for at least a month prior (a mixture of determination and delayed installations), the moment it switches on and the router is flashing green lights of goodness I enter a state of Euphoria.

The Euphoria lasts as I stream to my heart’s content, before finally becoming accustomed to having fantastic Internet again.

Lesson Learned: Extreme usage and dependence (or independence) sucks. When I achieve balance I’m more productive.

CONFESSION SIX: I’ll End Up At The Power Rangers Wikipedia Page If I Don’t Have Clear Objectives

I have an ongoing joke with my Dad about using Wikipedia; if you stay there long enough, it is inevitable that you’ll end up reading the entry for The Power Rangers. Try it out – you’ll get there.

Don’t laugh. Falling down the rabbit hole that is the internet has the dangerous ability to give you unnecessary knowledge and information overload, and chances are it has happened to you.

Whether it’s a result of obessing over a new subject area (Membership sites built on WordPress), a new musician (Childish Gambino) or a book (Atlas Shrugged), I will always end up on a page that is completely unrelated to my original search.

It’s only after I realise that I’m reading about a Power Rangers equivalent when searching for information on setting up a Worpress Membership site does it actually click.

After all, what does Kim Kardashian’s divorce have to do with closed-distribution of information? 

Beats me too.

Lesson Learned: When opening up the internet, have a clear outcome for browsing – or a time limit. Anything else is a risky venture to undertake.

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In a day and age where you can literally be on the toilet and stay up-to-date on the news, it can be easy to forget that there should be some boundaries. You might not stick to them all the time, but sticking to them most of the time is better than none of the time.

There will always be an inherit risk with technology. The more powerful it is, the more distracting it can be. Although I prefer to work towards a best case scenario (only check email 3 times per day, don’t check facebook when I’m with real people), I accept I’m human and won’t always get it right.

It happens.

Do your best to control technology, instead of letting it control you.

Make your technology confession, consider the lesson learned and ye shall be saved!

What You Learn On The Mat Will Help You In Life - Photo by Mike Nelson

The biggest challenge I find with ADHD?

Slowing my million miles an hour mind down… and dealing with the fact that I’m not perfect.

In my mid-teens, after rediscovering books, I started to take a great pleasure in proving to people that I knew more than they did. I became the know-it-all of everything I possibly could as a way of overcoming my own lack of confidence.

And because whenever I delivered my thoughts and learnings with such gusto it was accepted as fact, I started to develop an ego. A fragile ego that was founded on being right all the time and being “better” than other people.

What does this have to do with beatdowns? Let me explain…

Why You Need To Learn You Don’t Know Anything

“I know that I don’t know anything”
- Socrates, Classic Greek Athenian Philosopher

Over the past couple of years I’ve experimented or trained in Muay Thai, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Krav Maga and Mixed Martial Arts. As a result, I’ve had my fair share of butt-handed-to-self moments in clashes with fellow students and private training sessions.

You see whenever you clash with someone, your beliefs about yourself will be tested and a strange state of zen inevitably follows. After the countless ego crushing blows at the hands of various trainers and fellow students, I’ve had it drilled into me that I will never know everything. I cannot and will not ever be a perfect person, and I will never win all the time.

And that’s liberating.

Imagine being ok with the fact that you’ll fail at some things. Imagine how free it is to know, and accept, that you may never have a 100% success rate. When this happens, all of a sudden the pressure is off and you’re free to actually focus on making things happen instead of thinking about the outcomes.

You might win, you might lose. Whatever – you’ll get your fair share of both throughout all the areas of your life. And that’s ok.

Now reading these words won’t teach you this lesson thoroughly enough, though. You need to truly experience it, and here’s why.

How To Get Beat Up And Learn To Love It

“False ideas about yourself can destroy you”
- Frank Shamrock, Four Time Undefeated UFC Champion

“We all have limitations – our energies and skills will take us only so far. You must know your limits and pick your battles carefully.”
- Robert Greene, The 33 Strategies Of War

Getting thrown around and tossed to the ground hurts. It bruises your ego, your pride and sometimes your body. That’s fine – it’s meant to.

But after the bruising fades, you can guarantee one thing above all else – you will have learned your limitations in the real world. No matter how much you thought you knew, when face met mat you received a reality check that cut through everything. In a moment of clarity you learned where you really stand, and it found your limits.

By nature we are tactile creatures – we like to touch, feel and grasp everything we possibly can in order to fully integrate with it. In reality, chances are that as you read this you’re either cradling your phone in one hand or gently resting your hand on your mouse. This is how you connect with the real world and learn… and this is why a physical confrontation is the best way to learn your limitations.

Now I’m not saying go out and start fights with people. I am not Tyler Durden, and this is not Fight Club.

I’m saying you need to be taught to accept defeat. And love it.

Enter The Cage

Let’s get into the nitty gritty. You probably don’t like being hit or getting in a confrontation.

You probably don’t want to get into a fight, controlled or otherwise. That’s your fight or flight response kicking in and it’s only natural.

But why does flight reaction kick in more often than a fight response? It’s because you don’t know your limits. You aren’t judging the situation – you’re guessing at it. You’re guessing you’ll lose, but you don’t know for certain. You don’t know for certain because you don’t know your limits.

See the pattern here? Luckily, that pattern can be broken.

When you begin training in any form of Martial Arts, you will inevitably come to the first blow – perhaps it’ll be accidental in a training drill, or it might be an intentional full contact hit. Regardless it will happen, and you can’t avoid it.

Maybe you’ll get winded. It could even be a dislocation. Or it might just be a love tap and you’ll shake it off. But then you’ll realise that copping a hit on the path to learning and improving is only a temporary pain, and it’s not so bad.

And once again, that’s a liberating experience.

The Science Of Being: Violence And Self Improvement

With the philosophical side of being beaten up now covered, it’s only fair that I delve into the hard data that supports the theory of violence for self improvement.

In 2008, Dr John J. Ratey’s book “Spark” was published. In it, he chronicles and discusses the benefits that are derived from a physically active life. Throughout the various chapters he touched on the added benefits of exercise beyond looking sexy and feeling good – he showed how it can improve learning, memory and slow aging. Finally, he discussed the huge benefits of Acrobatic and Aerobic exercise on the ADHD individual.

Through exercise, you elevate the levels of Dopamine and Norepinephrine in your body for a period of time – a similar effect to doses of Adderall or Ritalin. Impulsive habits are curved and the frontal cortex of the brain (responsible for your executive functions) is woken up.

Furthermore, your learning ability is improved. Your senses are hightened, at a cellular level your brain is primed to absorb and process new information, and even the building of neurons in your brain is improved.

When would be the best point to learn new things in life? At the peak of, or following, high intensity Acrobatic and Aerobic exercise.

And what’s the best form of high intensity Acrobatic and Aerobic exercise available to the common man? Martial Arts.

What You Learn On The Mat Helps You In Life

“If you watch the best, they keep it simple. They don’t do anything fancy – they just focus on doing the simple stuff extremely well.”

“Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day.”

Of the two quotes above, one is from my Muay Thai Trainer in Sydney and the other is from a known leader of the Personal Development field. One quote applies to organised fights, the other to business and personal development, and although they’ve used different words they both mean the same thing.

This is an example of interdisciplinary learning – what you learn in one field or area can be applied to another for greater results. Interdisciplinary learning can help you to rapidly acquire knowledge and understanding by associating what you already know with something you are currently learning. Sounds like a good way to gain a better understanding of something, right?

And here is where what you learn on the mat helps you in life.

Keep it simple. Practice often. Take the hits. Get the fundamentals right.

Photo johntrainor

I remember when I was first diagnosed with ADHD. It was the most uplifting, yet simultaneously crushing, moment of my life.

The upside was that finally there was a reason – something that I could put my finger on and say “Here! This is where the problem comes from!”

The downside was that there was a problem that I now had to fix.

Over the past few years, I’ve learned a few things about coping with ADHD. Let me tell you, it isn’t about “magic pills” or “herbal remedies” by a long shot – these are just band aid solutions that can help you stablise. But they’ll never truly help you cope with ADHD.

The Number One Trick To Coping With ADHD

Coping with ADHD is a very personal thing. For some people, they find an adjustment in their diet helps. For others, they favour the inclusion of exercise in their daily routine. And then there’s some people who, without realising it, actually change their entire life to suit their ADHD.

And there in lies the number one trick to coping with ADHD. Adapting your life to the fact you have it.

There’s a story that I like to use to show this from another point of view – it’s that of a pale-skinned boy living on the Australian Coast. He was born with highly delicate and pale skin, and no matter what he does, he’s going to have to live with it forever.

Now as he grows up, he time and time again comes into situations where he has one of two options: adapt, or burn.

While he was still young, he was so fixated on being ‘normal’ like everyone else that he’d consciously avoid the sunscreen and sun protection… and end up with lobster red skin as a result. From the burns on the back of his knees that made it impossible to sit, to the burn on his nose that cooked it through, he made the mistake time and time again.

And then one day, he decided that he’d do one of two things. He’d either limit his time in the sun, or soak himself in sunscreen.

He began to cope with the fact that he had pale skin by adapting.

As he has gotten older he’s learned to minimise his time in the sun to fifteen minute intervals without sunscreen. He avoids being burned by adjusting his lifestyle. He goes to the beach, soaks up sun outdoors and lives an active lifestyle – he just does it by choosing when – and where – he does it.

He’s now coping with ADHD by working with it.

Forget Getting A Tan And Apply What You Need To

When I used to think about ‘coping’ with ADHD, it used to give me a really bad taste in my mouth. It felt as though there should be a struggle going on every day, and that my ADHD was only a big deal if I had to ‘cope’ with it. Until I realised that I’d been ‘coping’ with pale skin all my life.

Here’s the thing. Coping isn’t about struggling – it’s about dealing with things effectively.

If you find that your ADHD gets exacerbated when you spend time around sugary foods, it’s probably time to re-examine your diet. If you find that your ADHD comes under wraps when you sweat it out, maybe you should be treating your ADHD with exercise.

In short if it helps to remove the effect of ADHD, do it. If it makes your ADHD worse, don’t.

Adapt Or Perish – This Is How You Cope With ADHD

There is no point fighting ADHD constantly, forcing yourself through a hole that you don’t fit in. You’re better off adapting so that you can cope with your ADHD.

When you have ADHD, the number one thing you can do to overcome it is adapt your lifestyle. When you change your diet, improve your sleep, get exercise, align yourself with the right people and find ways of proactively coping with ADHD, you no longer have to ‘cope’ with ADHD.

You get to live.

Photo by Smath.

One common challenge for people looking for people with ADHD is getting sleep that matters. Depending on who we are, we either avoid it completely or don’t get the quality that our body so badly needs.

The benefits of sleep can’t be overlooked. From looking good to being mentally switched-on, getting seriously good sleep will give you the ability to be at the top of your game and overcome your ADHD on a daily basis. Think you can do this by powering yourself through the face with caffeine? Think again. Sure, coffee can help cure cancer but sleep deprivation leads to death.

What Ever Happened To “Sleep When You’re Dead”?

For the majority of my teens, as well as early twenties, “Sleep When You’re Dead” was my motto. I figured I was invincible, that I could get away with little to no sleep and live to tell the tale.

I was lucky.

You see, when people are deprived of sleep, the body begins to slow it’s processes and shut down. Simple tasks become monumental struggles as we weakly attempt to do even the most basic of human functions, and we realise that it’s either sleep or end up six foot deep. And this isn’t a suden change either; the effect of sleep deprivation on basic human functions has been tracked and monitored in the past by various studies, including one at the University of California on the Temporal Lobe.

As the body becomes deprived of sleep, simply talking with someone becomes a serious challenge. The Temporal Lobe, which is better known as the language processing area of the brain, becomes seriously affected by poor sleep quality and sleep deprivation to the point where you begin to slur your words. You quite literally cannot string a proper sentence together.

If this temporary ‘brain damage’ isn’t enough to convince you to do all that you can to guarantee high quality sleep, then we’ve only just begun.

Three Reasons You Need To Get Sleep When You Have ADHD

Other than the obvious health issues of death and temporary brain damage from sleep deprivation, it’s important to understand the effect that sleep has on your life, health and ADHD. When you lack sleep, each of these three areas isn’t just solely affected – it negatively affects the others by way of a compounding impact.

1. Sleep Helps You Reduce Your Stress And Increase Your Happiness

People who get less sleep (particularly those on the insomniac end of the scale) are unhappier. This isn’t because they miss out on having dreams of hooking up with supermodels and living their dream life either. The fact is, when you get less sleep you produce stress hormones at a higher rate.

As a result, you become highly strung as you enter a hyper-aroused state.

The more highly strung you become, the harder it is to sleep and the more stressed you become. The more stressed you become, the more likely you are to become depressed or even suffer from true insomnia.

Inversely if you’re getting the sleep and rest you need you’ll be happier, more relaxed and have a more positive outlook. And that makes you a more attractive person to be around. The more you sleep, the happier you end up being.

The journey to sleep nirvana begins with a single nap.

2. You Can Build A Better ADHD Brain Through Sleep

Research has proven that the level of sleep you get is directly related to your alertness, productivity, performance and reaction times. Given that your ADHD is already giving you a tough time in these departments, there’s no reason why you should be poking the bear.

If you’re finding that you’re making bad decisions, struggling to learn and suffering from a lack of mental clarity, this might be a better time than ever to getting a good night’s sleep. Not only does sleep allow your body to repair the neurons in the brain, but it also allows your brain to be better prepared for decision making, improving your learning capability and improve your focus – all key areas affected by ADHD. As a result, you build a better brain and give yourself the foundations to overcome some of ADHD most impacting and adverse effects.

By putting the stick down and doing everything you can to get a good night’s sleep with ADHD, you give yourself an advantage you otherwise wouldn’t have had.

3. How Much Sleep You Get Affects How Attractive You Are

Pick as Fact Or Fiction: Sleep will make you more attractive. If you picked Fact, you’re correct.

I don’t need to sell you on the advantages of being more attractive – it ties into your success, your sense of general well being and your success with the opposite sex. What I do need to let you know is how getting more sleep when you’ve got ADHD will help you do this.

When you lack sleep, your body undergoes metabolic changes that are in line with the normal aging process – but it happens a lot earlier, and a lot faster. This process is to be held responsible for looking terrible after a bad night’s sleep – but can be overcome by simply getting an extra hours sleep.

And instead of stopping yourself from becoming unattractive, how can sleep make you more attractive? Through the secretion of Growth Hormone, which occurs during the deepest levels of sleep.

Growth Hormone is responsible for giving you greater muscle mass and better skin amongst other benefits, and dramtically drops between the ages of 20 and 60. Solution to overcoming the drop? Sleep more, be more attractive.

Make The Choice To Count Sheep And Get Some Sleep

Like most ADHDers, the reality is that you want to be happier, you want to get the most out of your so called ‘dumb’ brain as you can and you want to be more attractive.

Take a minute now and think about the thing that you’re doing that are holding you up from getting quality ADHD sleep. It could be using the computer when you’re dog tired, staying up watching movies or even having sugar and caffeine late in the afternoon. These are the habits you need to start eliminating.

Oh, and one last thing. If you’re depriving yourself of sleep to get work done or try to make more money, don’t. Earning an extra $60,000 a day has less impact on your happiness than just getting an extra hour of sleep each night. Forget the dollars and get sleep sense.